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Mr. R...
2004-01-22 - 10:30 p.m.
Okay, here it is. The entry you�ve all been waiting for (All 5 of you). The latest in the saga of yet, another on-line Romeo. I�ll call him R (As in R you kidding? R you Nuts? R you out of your freakin� gourd???) Mr. R is from Indiana, and is a Seller on ebay. I made a purchase from him, and when it didn�t arrive, I emailed to find out why the delay. He emailed back right away, with a good explanation, and an apology. When it arrived, he also enclosed a small thank you/apology gift for my politeness and for being late. I emailed back telling him it had arrived (As I always do), thanked him for the gift, and jokingly told him I was giving him my official ABCD award for going Above and Beyond the Call of Duty. Also mentioned that could tell by his on line name, that he must be fond of a particular make of car (No, not saying as too easy for someone, not you 5, but someone else to figure out who he is.) And said that thought he�d be interested to know that I have a �39 Ford. Wellll�..he emailed back and started sending me all this info. on the car he is so passionate about (a very expensive type car), and we kept chatting about car stuff. Yes, I do have an antique car, but I�m not a �Car Buff� but didn�t want to be rude and tell him how boring I found all this. He started telling me more about himself, sometimes emailing as much as 3 times a day. After a few days, he sent what he said was a older picture of himself as that�s all he could find at the time, but wanted me to see who I had been talking with. He asked, so I sent him a face only picture of myself. Wellllllll��.For some reason, that really did it. He started asking about California, telling me how attractive he thought I was, yada, yada, yada. I went as far as to prove he was not married by sending a copy of his divorce papers. And, although he seemed very nice, on two occasions I inquired about his age, and he skipped over answering that question. He then started telling me how he�s almost ready to pack up and move to Calif��.How he�s from the school where, if you see something in the store that you like, you should buy it right away, because it may not be there when you go back. I emailed back and said that I�m not just a mere bobble that sits on a shelf. If I were in a store, I�d be in one of the higher end stores, and would be a thing that you would go back several times to look at, and save up for to attain. And if lucky, when you went back, hope that another more worthy buyer has not been fortunate enough to attain it before you had a chance. (Pretty clever ain�t I? Ha) Several emails later he starts telling me he is 6� 3� tall, wears a size 15 shoe, has large hands, and that he has trouble getting a watch band that will fit, and did I get what he was trying to round-a-boutly tell me. I played dumb and said, �Yeah, you�re trying to tell me you�ve got REALLY big feet!� Told me no��and made reference to it again a couple more times. I finally wrote, �Apparently you�re really wanting to tell me the measurements of your �manhood�, so go ahead and get it over with.� I should mention that in the mean time, I did my own detective work and found out he�s 59 yrs. old. I called him on it and he admitted it and apologized. Okay, okay. Are you ready for this? (I wasn�t!) He claims 9� long, and 5� around. I�m thinking, �Yeah, that�d really appeal to me. I�ve always dreamt having to walk like John Wayne the rest of my life.� How did I answer???? �Well, Mr. R, I�m glad you�ve gotten that out of your system. I have to admit I�m a little jealous. Before the surgery, I was only half the man you are.� I don�t know why, but all the sudden��no more emails. Don�t know WHAT could have happened!
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