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Start of "D" Day!
2003-12-30 - 9:42 p.m.
Well, today was somewhat eventful in my little life. I�ve had time to do some thinking, soul searching, etc� and decided to make some needed changes. Not because of New Years approaching, as I never make resolutions anymore. I made it through Christmas alone, something a few days ago I would have thought impossible. Although I would never do it, on that day, while sitting in the rain, I clutched a bottle of pills the Doctor has prescribed to me the day of Mom�s passing, to help me relax and sleep. I never used them, but kept them. I clenched that little bottle so tight on Christmas, that the bottle cracked. I guess I kept it, thinking of it as my security blanket, my way out, of a chance to be with my Momma again. This morning, I dumped the bottle down the sink, and took great pride and delight in hearing them grind up as I hit the switch on the disposal. The disposal in the kitchen I have so painstakingly worked to remodel. MY kitchen now! I also decided that I needed to make some physical changes as well. I worked very hard to lose 85 lbs. (Gained from Prednisone treatments for Kidney problem.), and managed to keep it all off for over a year. When Mom passed, I couldn�t keep anything down but starches, so the weight started creeping back, and I have gained 20 of those pounds back. Sooooo�.today was �D� day, or the dreaded �Diet Day�. I promised myself, if I made it past Christmas, I lose any weight I gained, and finish losing the rest I want to too. I know I need to go back to work soon, but also know that I need to feel good about myself. I have to feel confident enough to go in and apply for jobs. I don�t feel good with the extra weight. And, even though I still have several things to finish in the house, there�s no reason I can�t be losing the weight while I do it. Besides, think working around here, accomplishing some more, will also help take my mind off the strict dieting. Like the old song says, �One Day at a Time��..�
Found this diet. Maybe this one will be the one that works!
TODDLER MIRACLE DIET!
Over the years you may have noticed that most two-year-olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before
embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards.
DAY ONE:
Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on
the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.
Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).
Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Sprite.
Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor.
DAY TWO:
Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.
Lunch: Half tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired.
Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on rug.
Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon.
DAY THREE:
Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair.
Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.
Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch. Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible.
FINAL DAY:
Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.
Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it.
Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.
0 GAVE ME A LITTLE RINGY DINGY
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