|
4th of July
2004-07-03 - 8:49 p.m.
I'm not myself today. I don't know quite who I am, but it's not me. At this moment, my dark side has taken over. A deep dark cloud of depression is hovering above. Perhaps brought on by the full moon.... stepping on the scales  I've been avoiding....another 3rd of the month......2 weeks until Mom's Birthday ..... raging hormones ...... anger ...... loneliness .... frustration .... self-hatred...all being deeply guarded and suppressed within, manifesting themselves through ailments and weight gain...I look in the mirror,  but the reflection I see is not me. She's an old, fat, ugly woman whom I hold a deep and bitter hatred for. She has robbed me of "Me" and I can't forgive her for that. I'm sorry, but at the moment, this is me. I have to work through this...shed my tears ...pound on pillows...more tears .....fall to sleep in a heap of deep depression and exhaustion.  Later, to pull myself back up, decide my next course of action, and start all over again. So, me and my dark side have an appointment with a pillow. When next we speak, it will be me again, but for now............ On a little brigher note, Happy 4th of July Everyone.  Please have a safe one.
0 GAVE ME A LITTLE RINGY DINGY
Old Gossip - Latest News
|
