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Severe Mixed Emotions
2009-01-12 - 5:41 p.m.
I know there will be typos with this entry as I am typing fast and hurrying to rush out the door soon.
Hubby is going for a job interview at 9:00 am tomorrow. This is his third attempt at this job. it would mean a great deal more money for us, job security, medical, dental, etc... the down side, we'd probably have to move to northern california...hopefully not more than 2 years, but maybe more. I'm feeling a lot of mixed emotions with this one. in the last 5 years I have lost both of my parents, had to give up any dreams of having children (hysterectomy), met and married for the first (and only) time...etc.... I have lived in this house my entire life. I've never wanted to live anywhere else and hate the thought of anyone else living here, even if only renting it. Add to this, we just found out there cutting back on our hearing assignments from 4 to 6 weeks of hearing every two months, to one week every two months, cutting our income by 1/4 to 1/6 of our usual income. I feel so damn guilty for selfishly not wanting to follow along with the program, but I don't want to leave the only home I've ever known, or want to know. I love my little home and have worked so darn hard to fix it the way I want it. Soooo many memories, feelings, emotions. My rational mind knows it's ridiculous, it's just a house, but my heart....... I'm praying for answers, guidance, assurance. thanks for reading and letting me get that out of my system...and ignoring the typos.
5 GAVE ME A LITTLE RINGY DINGY
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