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Questions, Turkeys and Baby Farts
2008-11-17 - 12:14 a.m.
Growing up, one of my nicknames was �The Little D.A.� because I asked �why� about almost everything. I was painfully shy, but very curious. Not in an obnoxious way, just inquisitive about things like how do clouds float?, can cats and dogs understand each other�s language or is it like Spanish/English?, and the real clincher was when I asked, �If there�s not really any Santa Clause and not really any Easter Bunny, how do I know there is really a God? I can�t see him either?� I should add that I asked our Minister this last one. Being older has not changed my curiosity. I still question a lot of things and sometimes, I can actually find a good answer. A few that still remain unanswered are: 1. Why is Shawn pronounced like Sean and Sean pronounced like Shawn??? 2. How does a pill know where the pain is?? 3. OK... �I� before �E� except after �C�, right? I have one word for you �SCIENCE�,
�s-c-I-e-n-c-e�. What�s up with that? 4. Why count sheep?? Why not puppies, or houses, or even cheese??? 5. And while I�m at it, why, when you�re getting your picture taken, are you expected to say cheese? Why not something that makes you smile or laugh, like babies, or farts, or better yet, farting babies... now that makes ME laugh.
http://www.randlemanonline.com/media6. That leads to another question, why are farting babies funny, but not farting husbands? OK, heeeeee thinks it�s funny, but me?, not so much. I remember a family friend telling us a story of when she first got married. One night, while lying (laying, lying, don�t get me started) in bed next to her husband, she was just about to drift off to sleep when her new husband yelled, �Quick! Duck under the covers!� Of course she did, only to be met with an aroma so nasty it threatened to singe off her nose hairs. What a guy. Of course this is the same man that, on their first Christmas together, came out of the bathroom with a ribbon tied around his wahoo. I told her I would of asked him for the receipt so I could exchange it for a bigger one. OK, enough ramblings. On to a more serious matter. Thanksgiving. This year it will be on November 26th. Can you believe it is only 9 days away. Mommy-In-Law called today to announce that it will be at her house. I have been assigned to bake the turkey. I�m a bit nervous as, let�s face it, for most this is the �STAR� of the dinner table. I did however, find a new recipe that I�m considering trying. It includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing. Imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try. 8 - 15 lb. turkey1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT)
Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven. Listen for the popping sounds. When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room, it's done!
4 GAVE ME A LITTLE RINGY DINGY
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