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I hate that....
2004-03-27 - 6:29 p.m.
I HATE THAT: If you order a �large� drink at �Starbucks�, the minimum wage earning counter person feels it is their job, their destiny, their calling in life to correct you with, �Oh, you want a Grande!� I HATE THAT: Due to the fact I am currently unemployed, that same minimum wage earner behind the counter, makes more than me, and is twice as annoying, yet I am standing on the other side of the counter and paying $3.65 for a �Large Coffee�. I HATE THAT: A long time friend I haven�t seen for quite some time calls me, supposedly just to tell me that he misses me and wants to stop by for a short visit next week, but then adds that he is now starting his own Auto Detailing Business, and for a mere $50 he can detail my car while he�s here. THE SOLUTION: I think I shall start a new trend. When my friend stops by to �visit�, I shall offer him a cup of coffee. I will give him a choice of sizes; Tight-wad, Skimpy, or the Big-Spender size (Hey, I gotta have those cute little catch phrases too!) and I will offer him a choice of straight, with cream, with cream and sugar, with cream and equal, with rice milk and equal, with just sugar, etc� (You have to have lots of choices, that�s how you can ask the big bucks!) And then I will charge him the small fee of $3.00. A real bargain compared to Starbucks. I HATE THAT: poolagirl took off to Disneyland today, and it is in deed �the happiest place on earth� I might add, and didn�t see fit to even THINK of inviting me, a true California Goddess (and a real fun girl!) who lives less than 20 minutes away from her, go along with her. THE SOLUTION: Revenge! I shall now reveal one of Poolie�s deepest darkest secrets. She didn�t go to Disneyland (I did mention that it really is the happiest place on Earth didn�t I?) JUST to ride the Tea Cups. Noooooo. She�s on a mission. She is going there to meet�.. are you ready?�.her REAL FATHER! That�s right�.Poolagirl is indeed�.. Goofy�s love child. You heard it here first. I know you all suspected it, and in the back of your minds, you all know it�s true. Think about it: She thinks she�s a pirate (Pirates of the Caribbean), she falls into grocery store freezers (Such a Goofy thing to do), and she�s wanting to come back wearing a pair of �Goofy Ears� (a clever cover!) See it�s all there in black and white. And although I don�t know for sure, I strongly suspect her Mother�..Yes, that�s right�..Tinkerbell! You know, that little hussy who goes flitting around all day, wearing that tiny little skirt, taunting small children, scattering fairly dust everywhere (which in reality is dehydrated coyote piss) and trying to convince poor simple Peter Pan that he should never grow up, while all the while she�s seeing the hunky Tooth Fairy (a.k.a. Tow Truck Driver) on the side. Come on people! Open your eyes! Now I�m not saying she resembles her Dad (obviously she gets her good looks from her Mother�s side), but haven�t you asked yourself, �What is she really hiding under that hat, sunglasses, and white gunk?�  Just remember, you are all sworn to secrecy. Shhhhhhhh�� ****DISCLAIMER: Of course you all realize that the above entry was all tongue-in-cheek, and in no way was meant to be taken seriously. Everyone on dland loves Ms. Poolie. Now excuse me while I find a good hiding place before she gets home.
0 GAVE ME A LITTLE RINGY DINGY
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