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Advantages of Alone
2004-02-22 - 10:46 p.m.
Heart of Gold
What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
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Living alone is not an easy adjustment. It�s can be difficult, when you often go all day without any other living soul to talk to. Of course, I�m referring to face to face, not via web or phone. A friend of mine called yesterday, and half jokingly asked me, �So, how�s your love life?� My reply�.My dogs love me---when I feed them. My bill collectors love me---when I pay them. Sellers on ebay love me---when I buy something. I have a few dear friends who love me, but have families of their own to be with. I have my Aunt---who loves me in her own odd ball way. My Brother----who loves me when it's convenient. Yeah... sadly.... that's the extent of my love life at this point. But if I look hard enough, there are a few advantages to living alone. Unlike chaosdaily, 1. I never have to compete for the �Putter�. Of course, I�d have to have one, and actually know what it is to compete for it. But if I did have one, Damn it! I�d never have to share it. 2. Unlike poolagirl I never have my neighbors stealing my laundry soap. Okay, so I have a little pervert across the street that tries to look in my bathroom window, but he�s my pervert, all mine! 3. I can go three days without washing dishes if I want, and nobody is there to complain about it. Of course, the Anal Retentive in me would never allow it, but I could if I wanted to. I can even eat all my meals from paper plates and never have to wash another dish. 4. I can even eat nothing but popcorn for dinner, and ice cream for desert, right out of the carton. 5. I can belch or pass gas, so nasty that it would threaten to singe the nose hairs off of anyone unfortunate enough to be caught in it�s path, allllll day like if I wanted to, just like dangerspouse and never have to worry about someone trying to take a torch to my �Big �ol Bubble Butt�. 6. I could slide down mountains of mud like mom-on-roof and instead of washing my pants off, just stand them in a corner until they harden, chip off the mud, and do it all over again the next day. 7. Let�s see�..I can walk around the entire house all day, wearing nothing but a pair of high heel pumps and a smile, eating spaghetti-Os and scratching my butt. Being blonde, I could never handle that many things at once, but I have the option. 8. I can store my clothes in the dryer, never bothering to fold them or hang them up. Just taking out what I need when I need it. And, yes, I have actually done this one at times. 9. I can watch a Golden Girls Marathon all day, without any one stepping in and channel surfing on my turf. 10. I can go to sleep anytime I want to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
0 GAVE ME A LITTLE RINGY DINGY
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