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Happy Birthday to me!
2004-01-24 - 2:05 p.m.

Today is one of those days when I can�t help but reflect back on memories of my Momma. She always found a way to make this day special for the two of us. Waking up to the smells of tiny heart shaped pancakes with peanut butter and maple syrup, bacon, and a cup of steaming hot cocoa with marshmallows. Oh how I would have given anything to smell those very smells this morning. After breakfast, we would plan our �Special Girl�s Day� together. Sometimes as simple as a walk in the park followed by a 3 scoop cone of ice cream, other times, a day of shopping and lunch. It didn�t matter what we did, as long as we were together on this, �My Special Day!�

And always, on this day, I would give her a gift, to thank her for giving me life, and for making it a special one filled with the kind of love only a Mother can give. I had to ask myself this morning, �How do you give a gift to someone who is now in Heaven?� And then the answer came to me. Knowing in my heart of hearts, that she is still watching over me, and possibly reading this very entry at this very moment, I will dedicate the following message to her.

Momma? Can you see me? If you were here right now, I would hug you tightly and tell you how very much you mean to me, how deeply I miss you, and how very blessed I was to have been given the gift of YOU as my Momma. You gave me the gifts of strength, and of faith. It is with these two, that I will be able to carry on. But know, that it is with a heart that misses your laughter, misses your smile, and most of all, misses your great love and faith in me. You were always concerned, that when the day came that I we could no longer be together, that I would not be able to make it on my own. Momma, I�d be lying if I said that it wasn�t hard, or that it wasn�t lonely, or that your were wrong about it being a cold cruel World. But Momma, with you still at my side, in my heart, and each night in my dreams, I am surviving it all. And it is because of you that I have been able to do this. I want you to be proud of me Momma, for that is my gift to you. Are you proud of your Baby Girl Momma? I pray that you are. Although I cannot tie it with a big red bow, as I always did, it is still wrapped in love, and tied to my heart for eternity. So, on this day, my 41st Birthday, I want to thank you Momma, for giving me life, and for making it such a special one.

0 GAVE ME A LITTLE RINGY DINGY

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