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S&M
2004-01-13 - 8:55 p.m.
Yesterday I had my first massage. NO! Not that kind! It was a �Deep Tissue� massage. It was an interesting experience to say the least. This woman, for $25 an hour, comes right to your house and does the therapy. She�s done wonders with a couple of my friends. One who had been in a car accident, and couldn�t walk or sit without pain, is now, six months later, pain free. She has also helped a friend with severe Vertigo. In 3 months time, she is down to less than 1/3 the amount of Vertigo episodes she was having. She uses some unusual methods at times, but seems to get results. For my friend�s Vertigo, she puts a series of 3 cigarettes in her ear, and let them burn down. I guess it�s the combination of the heat and the filter, that allows it to �wick� out the fluids and wax from the ear. Sounds odd, but has really done wonders for her. Rita, the masseuse, thinks she can help me with my kidney problems, and even the damage stress is having on me (TMJ, Migraines, hair breakage, etc�.) It would be wonderful, and well worth it, if she can. She�s made no mention of any unusual methods, other than the deep tissue massages to open the lymph nodes. I can tell you this much about deep tissue massage though, I have no idea how ANYONE could get their jollies from pain. After she was done, I felt achy like when you have the flu, but am already feeling much better today. Speaking of pain, the whole S&M thing never made any sense to me. My Mom was always a bit naive about such things. She had a look of horror on her face when I had to explain to her what S&M was. After that, every time she�d see someone decked out in all leather, or wearing a dog collar, she�d always say, in hushed tones, �Look Baby Girl, think those people are into that M&M stuff?� I never bothered correcting her, as I found it cute. Each time she�d say it, all I could think of was the phrase, �Melts in your mouth, not in your hands.� Mom always had a knack for asking me to explain the most embarrassing things. If someone told a joke she didn�t understand, she�d just smile and nod, as if she did. Can you imagine having to explain to your Mother terms like �Golden Shower�, or �Pearl Necklace�? Unfortunately for me, she had some very �With-it� friends, who enjoyed telling her these kinds of jokes. After I�d explain the terms to her, her reply was always the same, �Oh MY! How did YOU know what that meant?� What can I say, I read a lot.
0 GAVE ME A LITTLE RINGY DINGY
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