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'tis the season!
2003-12-08 - 8:07 p.m.
Decided to go out yesterday and do a little shopping. Usually a sure-fire-pick-me-up for the blues, but again I ask, "WHAT WAS I THINKING?????" I wasn't looking for anything in particular, just a quick pass through the 'Big Lots' store to see what might inspire me, or motivate me, or something. A couple of kids, maybe 9 or 10 years olds whose parents must have decided to lower their children's morning dosages of "hyper pills" just for kicks, were slam dunking pillows into glass vases, shopping carts, and wooden Santas, all the while yelling and screaming obsenities at the tops of their lungs, while simultaneously making rude, discusting, and nauseating noises from various orafices of their bodys. At the risk of sounding like one of those cranky old ladies, who's voices cracked when they yelled, and who smelled like Ben Gay and scared me to death as a child... "WHERE WAS THEIR MOTHERS????" In an effort to get out of the path of these "BRATS", I ended up getting "Slam Dunked" in the face with one of their pillows (causing severe pain and my eyes to tear up, as this particular pillow was trimmed with beads). But did I hear, "Sorry", or "Excuse me." or anything remotely apologetic? Noooooo, instead I hear, "Good one dude!" as they high five each other. Of course, I come up with what, at the time, seemed the appropriate response, "Hey, watch it." To this, their response was a very polite, "F--k You B-t-h!!!" At this point, enough was enough, but I maintained a level head. I looked around, surveying the area and noticing no adults in the immediate area resembling these children's parents, and took appropriate action. I rammmed a shopping cart right into both of them, knocking them both down to the ground. As I laughed a continued to walk forward at a brisk pace, not bothering to look back, I could hear a small child in the distance yelling, "F--king Cow!" Aww yes, 'tis the Season!
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