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My punishment for what?
2003-10-07 - 9:27 p.m.
Why does it seem that even when obviously wronged by someone, I am still the one left holding the fuzzy end of the lollipop? I just don't get it. What happened to "What goes around, comes around"? And the ever popular, "You'll be rewarded for all you've done". I just don't get it. Found out that if I decide to keep Mom's car and have it fixed, and that the repairs will cost more than they deem the car to be worth, I will have to settle for what the car's worth "After" she hit it, and pay the rest out of my pocket. Not to mention the fact that they would then list my the car as "Salvage", making it next to impossible to ever sell if I should want to in the future. Does it seem so much to ask that I just want the car the way it was before she ever hit it? Why should I be punished for chosing to park where I parked, at the moment I parked there? To the insurance, it's just an old '87 Honda, but to me it's so much more. It doesn't matter to them that it's been babied with seat covers, dash covers, floor mats, etc...It doesn't matter that it's only got 60,000 something miles. It doesn't matter that it's part of my connection with my Momma and that, when I drive it, I can truly feel her warmth and presence. It's as though SHE matters more than I do. In the mean time, she's getting away with only a slap on the wrist. She also had a hit and run in '98. Boy, did that teach her a lesson! Sadder still, is that I found out from the Police today, that she lives only a block from the accident. If she had only chosen to walk that night, it would have saved both of us so much grief. It wasen't even her car she was driving. Not only that, the car she was driving has hardly a scratch on it. I know I've got to let this all go, but it's soooo hard. I'm sitting here and stopping every few moments to ring my hands and run my fingers through my hair, over and over, just desperately trying to make sense of it all. What did I do? Why? I just don't understand. I've tried so hard to be a good person. What did I do so awful to deserve all this? I've got to shake this off or it will drive me to the edge. I'm contemplating writing this woman a letter, letting her know how her actions effected me and my life. I know I'll at least write it, just not sure if I'll mail it. I'll pray on it, but right now, my gut says she needs to know and understand what she's done.
0 GAVE ME A LITTLE RINGY DINGY
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