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Calgon, take me away!
2003-09-26 - 11:26 p.m.

Decided to treat myself to a manicure today. Usually do my own, but..needed to get out, get away, change of scenery, yada, yada, yada. What else is a "wild" single woman supose to do on a Friday night? It felt good to be pampered a bit, even if I did have to pay for the attention. Of course, I should have learned that there's no escaping. Half way through my manicure, I was just starting to enjoying having the guy massage each of my fingers with hand cream (Okay. So I'm grasping at straws here. At least I had a man touching me though.) I hear from across the room. "Is that you? I haven't seen you for so long! How's your Mother." Damn! I quickly snap out of the full body massage world I was starting to drift into, and come back to the realty of what's in front of me. Once again, I have to tell someone of Mom's death. Once again, I have to tell the story that hurts so bad and puts my stomach into knots. And, once again I am forced to feel that I have to console someone else who is hearing the story for the first time, when I am desperately trying to fight back the stinging tears that are now filling my eyes.

When will it stop hurting so bad? When will I no longer run into the bathroom and be forced to hug the porcelain Buddah? When? When? When will the pain go away?

Perhaps, in a couple of days, I will try again to have a special day just for me. I think I'd enjoy being around trees and allowing the sights, scents, and sounds of nature to envelop me. For now I will settle for a long, hot, steamy bubble bath, with candles burning of course. Calgon, take me away!

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